Friday, July 29, 2005

Losing my way

Have I lost my way? The second Africa trip is scheduled next month. My daughter no longer works for that organization (after 10 years or so.) That area of Zimbabwe is suddenly flooded with refugees from the razing of buildings that took place in Harare. My daughter doesn't have the money to pay for her fare. My income is way down due to funding cutbacks in my agency. Should we go? Can we go?
Well of course you CAN do anything you really want to, so it would be a matter of borrowing or using money that could be used for something (like putting in a large propane tank at my house so I don't have to keep hauling the little ones around.)
I asked the I Ching not long ago, and got Working on What Has Been Spoiled. Not being afraid to cross the great water; not letting fear control you.
Which makes it sound like I need to go. "A bowl in which worms have been breeding," indeed!

Last nite I lay on the deck under the stars and thought, WHY would I leave this place where the weather is hot but liveable, and I have a good-enough job doing good work?? WHY?
This morning I got so frustrated trying to weedeat around here, I wondered how much harder things could be elsewhere?

Back and Forth, Back and Forth? Trying to discern signs and symbols.

Waiting.